On November 5th, Nia handed in her resignation letter. It was one of the most stressful moments of her life. She found herself in tears, struggling to explain to Ann, the human resource manager, why she had come to this decision. In truth, she had mentally resigned long before that day. Weeks of feeling unfulfilled and frustrated had taken a toll on her. She had begun sleeping in, missing pharmacy calls but reporting them anyway, and eventually, she knew she couldn’t hold on. But how had she reached this point?

Just two years earlier, Nia had been sitting in the parking lot of a major hospital after her last doctor’s call of the day, confiding in her friend, Sophie, about her growing discontent. She couldn’t tell whether her dissatisfaction came from the nature of the work, the work environment, or a mismatch between her personality and the job. She dismissed the personality angle as she had been reading The Introvert’s Edge: How the Quiet and Shy Can Outsell Anyone and believed that introverts could thrive in sales. She didn’t yet realize that what she was struggling with went far beyond being reserved.

So she focused on the other two possibilities.

High-pressure, competitive environments: Selling generics, especially in pain management, was cutthroat. With a molecule like diclofenac, there were dozens of competing brands, some with advanced formulations, others relying solely on low pricing, all fighting for a tiny sliver of shelf space. In such a commodified market, where most pharmacy owners prioritized mark‑up, cheaper products always had the upper hand.

The environment was also relentlessly high‑pressure. Everything revolved around numbers: sales targets, packs moved, deficits, strategies, bonuses. Nia worked for a generic company that, while more accommodating than most, still offered limited support. Each rep was expected to make ten calls a day, carry detailing materials, sample packs, a sales book, and personal items across a wide territory. Without a car to store everything and move efficiently, the work was exhausting.

During that conversation with Sophie, Nia wondered whether working for a multinational, where support systems were stronger, might help her test her suspicions. And soon enough, the opportunity appeared. A leading French pharmaceutical company was acquiring a generic line and had begun recruiting. Nia was one of the lucky few selected. She received the call while on her way to a doctor’s visit in her territory. She wanted to punch the air in excitement, but, sitting in a matatu (local name for public transportation), she restrained herself.

Role plays: Two weeks later, Nia joined a sales training program alongside representatives from four other countries. The sessions on Monday and half of Tuesday were theoretical. Then, on Tuesday afternoon, they were scheduled to begin the role plays. At random, Sherryl, the trainer, called out: “Nia, could you sell this pen to Nick?” Nick, a colleague seated to her left, looked up expectantly. All eyes turned toward her as she shifted her chair to face him. She instantly knew what question she would use to open the sale, yet in the same instant, a wave of self‑doubt swept over her. After a long pause, she raised the pen and spoke softly, almost in a whisper:

• “What features matter most to you in a pen?”

“A good grip, a fine point, something durable,” Nick replied.

• Encouraged, Nia continued: “What type of activities do you usually use a pen for?”

“Mostly writing out orders and notes during client calls.”

• She pressed on. “Have you ever had any issues with pens you’ve used in the past?”

“Yes, some shed ink or break apart after just a few uses.”

Nia listened carefully, nodding, and then proceeded to position her pen as reliable, comfortable, and built to last. She completed the sale process, but stepped away, believing her timidity and nervousness had caused Sherryl and the others to judge her as incompetent. When training ended, the team was taken to a showroom to receive a zero‑mileage Honda Ballad. It sure felt surreal.

Ambiguity: With her new car and new role, she headed to her assigned territory, which covered five major towns. The transition, however, was unsettling, as she received no orientation for the region and lacked past sales history to draw upon. Fortunately, her friend Pete, born and raised in the area, offered to travel with her and help her secure accommodation.

Persuasion skills: Once settled, Nia conducted a small market analysis to establish a baseline. She then began meeting procurement professionals. They were warm, welcoming, and excited to have a representative from her company. They agreed to stock her products, but when they asked about quantities, she accepted whatever they suggested. She feared that pushing for larger orders might make her seem ungrateful, pushy, or worse, prompt them to withdraw the order entirely.

Small‑talk: The quarterly review meetings always began with clusters of sales reps filling the hotel lobby, laughing loudly, greeting each other with hugs, and swapping stories about clients and targets. Because the routine never changed, Nia always knew what to expect, but that didn’t make it easier. As she walked toward the venue, her mind would spiral with the same worry every time: I won’t have anything to say. She felt a wave of relief once the meetings officially started, as she could slip into a seat at the back, focus on the slides, and take notes. She felt safe in that structured environment until tea and lunch breaks. To avoid the small talk, she would take long bathroom breaks, emerging only when most people had already served their snacks. By then, it was usually time to return to the presentations.

The after‑meeting gatherings were the hardest. Managers encouraged out‑of‑town reps to join, insisting it was a good chance to bond with colleagues. Nia always sat tucked at the far end of the table, as far from the managers as possible. Occasionally, someone would comment on how quiet she had been. She would smile politely, unsure how else to respond. Later, when she was finally alone, the rumination would begin. She replayed every small interaction, every awkward moment, every silence she wished she had filled differently. And then, her mind would offer the perfect response, the perfect joke, the perfect reaction she should have given hours earlier. She often wondered why these thoughts only came to her when the moment had already passed.

Presentations: The firm had several teams, each marketing different product lines. On the afternoon before the review meeting, teams would gather to prepare their presentations of targets versus performance to date, successes, challenges, and the way forward. A different representative was always nominated to present on behalf of the team, but Nia’s name never came up. She believed her colleagues and managers saw her as incapable of making a strong impression. In the usual team meetings, she was soft‑spoken, sometimes losing her train of thought, filling pauses with “ummm…”, and struggling to articulate her ideas clearly. The entire situation was a paradox. She felt relieved at not being chosen, since it spared her the dread of standing before the group, yet at the same time, she felt excluded. Over time, these feelings of exclusion chipped away at her self‑esteem and sense of confidence.

Performance evaluations: After the review meetings, managers sat down with each representative to discuss individual progress. The evaluations considered both performance and character. Nia’s reluctance to push for larger orders meant her sales numbers often lagged behind those of her peers. In addition, she was perceived as too quiet, reserved, and timid for the demands of a sales role. Over time, the weight of poor evaluations combined with low self‑esteem, diminished confidence, and persistent feelings of exclusion left her feeling inadequate and demotivated. The frustration gradually deepened into disengagement and eventually resignation.

After resigning, Nia took a one‑year gap to redesign her life. During that time, she enrolled in a master’s programme in project planning and management. She resonated deeply with the field of monitoring and evaluation, and soon decided to seek paid opportunities in M&E.

Networking: Paul, a friend from church, reminded her of a simple truth: “Your network is your net worth.” He advised her to talk to as many people as possible, since opportunities often came through connections. But there was one problem, her professional network was almost non‑existent because her skill set was still developing, and she had never fully appreciated the importance of networking. Carol, another friend from church, overheard the conversation and recommended that Nia reach out to a youth organization that specialized in linking young professionals with industry opportunities. By chance, the organization was in the process of forming a partnership with another group to execute a project in urban farming. They needed an M&E assistant, and Nia was brought in to fill the gap.

One of the most fulfilling chapters of Nia’s professional journey began here. Going to the field, recruiting beneficiaries, collecting and analyzing data, and developing reports gave her a sense of purpose and joy. The satisfaction she drew from these experiences more than compensated for the meagre pay. In any case, her priority was the chance to build her skill set and gain experience.

Authority figures: Everything was going well until the education officer resigned. Management asked Nia to step in in an acting capacity, effectively holding two positions at once. Accepting the request would make her indispensable to the team, but it also placed her in a dilemma. On one hand, it offered an opportunity for growth and the possibility of promotion. On the other hand, it left her feeling exposed. In this role, she would be expected to interact frequently with authority figures, heads of training institutions, and international donors. Once again, she became fixated on the idea that she would have nothing meaningful to say to them and that she would be judged as incompetent.

Rather than wait for what she imagined would be an embarrassing situation, Nia chose to resign…again.

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For those who’ve walked this path, what helped you hold your job?