Eye contact is a fundamental aspect of social interaction. When we engage in conversations, our eyes connect, conveying emotions, trust, and understanding. However, for individuals with social anxiety disorder (SAD), maintaining eye contact can be an overwhelming challenge. This article sheds light on the struggle experienced by these individuals through the lens of an international student.

I’ve always been a quiet observer, preferring the shadows to the spotlight. Social gatherings felt like minefields, each step fraught with anxiety. The expectation to engage in and maintain conversations haunted me the most and my mind would race with questions: What if I run out of things to say? What if I say something stupid? What if I start sweating when mingling with new people? Ruminating over these possibilities would then make me feel tense and nervous.

The Cultural Night Encounter

One evening, fate played its hand. I was an international student attending a cultural night event at my university. The social hall was crowded with a diverse group of students. The colourful array of cultural displays and the buzz of conversations created an exhilarating atmosphere. However, for me, the prospect of navigating through these interactions was accompanied by a wave of unease.

I found myself standing across from a young lady student. Her eyes radiated kindness, and she smiled-a simple, genuine smile. Panic surged within me. I couldn’t look away; her gaze held me captive.

“Beautiful event, isn’t it?” she said, her voice soft as raindrops.

I mumbled a response, my eyes flitting to the floor. But she persisted, sharing stories of her motherland, her journey to the host institution and expectations. Her eyes never wavered from mine.

Despite my best efforts to appear composed, the fear of being judged and the apprehension of awkward interactions led me to seek safety through avoidance. I found myself instinctively averting my gaze, hoping to alleviate the discomfort that threatened to overshadow the cultural celebration. In those moments, the intensity of the interaction became emotionally overwhelming, fueling a desire to withdraw from the social setting and seek refuge in solitude.

The Healing Journey

Months passed, and we forged a beautiful friendship. We exchanged stories, shared laughter, and sometimes sat in companionable silence. Her eyes, once intimidating, became a lifeline. I found courage in sharing my struggles and thankfully, she didn’t judge me, she saw me-the real me-beneath the layers of anxiety. She taught me that vulnerability wasn’t weakness, it was courage. Over time, I was inspired to openly share my struggles to foster understanding and empathy within my social circles.

I embraced the practice of gradual exposure, starting with brief periods of eye contact and gradually increasing the duration to desensitize myself to the discomfort. I held my own gaze in front of a mirror willing myself not to look away. I forced myself to meet the eyes of the barista, the cashier, and the stranger on the park bench. Each encounter felt like a tiny victory.

Engaging in mindfulness and relaxation techniques became instrumental in managing the physical and emotional symptoms of social anxiety. Seeking guidance through cognitive behavioral therapy empowered me to identify and reframe negative thought patterns associated with eye contact, fostering newfound confidence in social settings. Consulting a mental health professional provided personalized strategies, offering valuable support and guidance tailored to my specific challenges. Moreover, sharing my struggles with others fostered a sense of community, reminding me that I was not alone in this journey.

A Reflection

The discomfort I experienced was not merely a matter of shyness or timidity, but rather a manifestation of the intricate web of social anxiety. Each avoided glance or fleeting eye contact became a reminder of the intense self-consciousness and inner turmoil that I grappled with in such settings.

Ultimately, this personal journey became a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of seeking support. My experience taught me that by embracing vulnerability and seeking the necessary assistance, one can navigate the complexities of social anxiety and pave a path towards greater self-acceptance and well-being.

Do you face any difficulty in maintaining eye contact while conversing? This is a common challenge that many of us experience. We would appreciate it if you could share your experiences, tips and tricks to overcome this challenge. Your suggestions could be of great help to someone else who is struggling with the same issue.

Kindly share your thoughts in the comment section below.